My Child is Trans, Now What? A Joy-Centered Approach to Support

A powerful book for readers aiming to support trans youth that Booklist calls a "warm and generous book [that] will help a wide range of readers" and Publishers Weekly says is "a pragmatic program for parenting beyond the gender binary."

As a full-time public speaker specializing in spreading awareness and understanding of the transgender community, what Ben Greene hears most from parents and loved ones is the phrase "I'm sorry." They're sorry for using the wrong word, sorry for asking an offensive question, sorry for not knowing this already, sorry for asking a question at all. The combination of exhaustion from trans people who have become their community's designated educator and the growing trend of "canceling" anyone who says anything wrong has created a culture where people who have good hearts and minimal access to information are so afraid to make a mistake they don't even try.

In My Child is Trans, Now What? A Joy-Centered Approach to Support, Greene breaks the mold by offering a judgement-free guide to people across generations, from millennial parents to members of older generations who may not have had previous positive exposure to the trans community. Greene focuses on providing two key resources in this book: information and emotional support. He explains what to expect, what systems exist to support trans youth, and what loved ones can do to help.

Using a combination of personal stories and experiences, definitions, and additional resources, My Child is Trans, Now What? is an essential guide for anyone looking to help trans youth thrive.

Amidst these dark and troubling times for trans youth and their families in America, Greene's book is a beacon of light and hope. Bursting with love and compassion, this guidebook offers practical and user-friendly advice about how to support the transgender loved one in your life.

--Jeannie Gainsburg, author of The Savvy Ally: A Guide for Becoming a Skilled LGBTQ+ Advocate

A timely book with an important message written from a uniquely fresh perspective. While the purpose of Ben's book is to support trans youth and young adults, we could all benefit from his heartfelt message of compassion and joy.

--Chris Tompkins, LGBTQ-affirming therapist and author of Raising LGBTQ Allies: A Parent's Guide to Changing the Messages from the Playground

Ben Greene's compassionate guide for parents of trans kids is a welcome salve in these wounding times. If you are concerned or confused about a young loved one's prospective transition, this book is a great place to start a truly transformative journey.

--Susan Stryker, PhD, author of Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution

By sharing his story with the world, Ben Greene powerfully demonstrates how people of every gender can thrive when they are fully affirmed and loved for who they are. Ben empathetically, openly, and willingly answers the sometimes complicated questions, making it possible for parents and caregivers who are newly navigating this path to get the education and encouragement needed to support their own--and every--transgender and nonbinary kid. In doing so, these families will help to ensure that every trans person is safe, celebrated, empowered, and loved.

--Brian Bond, CEO of PFLAG National

In this upbeat debut guide, Greene, a trans man and LGBTQ inclusion consultant, offers advice on how cis parents can 'help build supportive homes... for trans young people, ' whom Greene calls 'VIPs.' The most important thing parents can do, he suggests, is to 'listen empathetically' and 'accept your VIP as the leading expert on themselves.' Writing for readers with little familiarity with trans issues, Greene provides a rundown of common pronouns and a thorough glossary of such terms as 'cisnormativity, ' 'genderqueer, ' and 'pansexual.' Recommendations for supporting trans kids include helping them find LGBTQ support groups and setting a routine of 'picking five things you and your VIP like about yourselves today' to counteract 'loops of self-criticism.' Greene also weighs in on how parents can find trans-friendly healthcare providers and help their child navigate coming out at school. Much of the advice focuses on guiding parents as they work through their own feelings. For instance, Greene writes that while 'it's okay to acknowledge that this may be a new way of looking at the world, ' parents should process any conflicted emotions with 'sources other than your VIP.' Greene writes with compassion for trans youth and their parents, ensuring the former feel supported as the latter get up to speed. It's a pragmatic program for parenting beyond the gender binary.

-- "Publishers Weekly"

As anti-trans legislation sweeps through the nation, many Americans remain underinformed about trans issues and unsure of how to support the trans children in their lives. Designed for readers at all different knowledge levels, My Child Is Trans, Now What? is an accessible, nonjudgmental primer. Trans educator Greene walks the reader through coming-out conversations, how to build community for trans children, the spectrum of options for social and medical transition, and navigating potentially hostile healthcare, workplace, and educational systems. Drawing on his own experience of coming out as trans in high school, Greene emphasizes the importance of making space for trans joy in a world where trans kids are often met with anger, conflict, and even violence. He also takes care to stress the fact that, because every trans person is different, the best way to know the needs of a specific trans kid in your life is always just to ask. This warm and generous book will help a wide range of readers to support and celebrate children who are trans, nonbinary, and questioning. Trans youth can share this book with the adults in their lives, while cis teens can learn more about how to support their trans friends, siblings, and classmates.

-- "Booklist"